Celebrate Your Friday With A Whisky Sour

Today, I will teach you, dear wanderer, how to make the greatest cocktail in the world. It's simultaneously delicious, easy to drink and strong — two of these will set your worries aside and ease the heavy burdens of adulthood from your heart.

The whisky sour is one of my bellwether drinks. If the bar makes it like my instructions below, keep ordering them; if they pull out margarita mix, switch to beer immediately (I'm looking at you McMenamin's!).

You'll need:

1. Whisky. Don't use anything that high quality, but don't do the sad burny stuff. Jim Beam, Jack or Buffalo Trace will do great.
2. Lemons (regular tart lemons, not those terrible, sweet meyer lemons)
3. Simple Syrup (Ideally, make your own: 1 part water, 1 part RAW sugar. Syrup should be brown.
4. Egg
5. Ice (Crushed or Cubed)
6. Lemon Bitters
7. Angostura Bitters

Okay, on to it.

Step 1: Take a cocktail shaker, fill it about halfway with ice.

Step 2: Add 3 oz of whisky (two jiggers)

Step 3: Adding 1.5 oz of Simple Syrup (one jigger)

Step 4: Cut lemon in half and press all the juice from the it ‚ as much juice as possible.

Step 5: 4 dashes lemon bitters

Step 6: 2 dashes angostura bitters

Step 7: Crack the egg and add the egg white. (Don't add the yolk, trust me it's gross).

Now this next step is SUPER important. You need to put on the lid to your shaker, then shake the HELL out of that cocktail. You're aiming for 40-50% dilution of the ice. Shake it for like 30 seconds, and I mean shake it hard. Your shoulder should hurt and your hand should be numb by the end of this.

Pour everything into a cocktail glass. You should have about ¼ inch of delicious egg white foam at the top. If you want to be fancy, do another few drops of angostura bitters on the foam and make a design with it.

This same basic recipe also works great with gin or vodka, but I think the punch of bourbon works best. Enjoy and stay safe out there.